braille

sometimes when you're all by yourself, you get trapped in a sullen wonderland of thought and find it hard to escape. for example, a minute ago, i found myself sitting on my couch staring at the sun coming through the window. my automatic response to seeing the sun was rage. not violent rage, but the kind where all you can do is just listen to how fast your heart is pumping. the reason i got angry is because i feel ready for the snow to be gone, and the sun isn't seeming to help make it go away. i don't understand why there are birds flying around outside in the freezing cold; i can't even stay warm when i step outside to have a cigarette for 2 minutes. if i had wings, Vermont is the last place i'd ever be.

i guess i'm just going to do a general update for this post. my weight is almost perfect (159 Lbs). my hair is growing longer. i have plenty of boys to choose from at the moment. the music I've been listening to are these guys: http://www.myspace.com/chelseagrinmetal & http://www.myspace.com/cuteiswhatweaimfor & http://www.myspace.com/adaytoremember

aside from that, i'm just really impatient. i get these horrible anxiety attacks when i feel like i wont have enough cigarettes for the next day, so i have to get myself a new pack a day before i run out. its weird and probably makes no sense, but it gets me bye. anywho, this winter has lasted too long, i cant wait for summer, and thats about it for now.