August 28th, 2011

BIKRAM YOGA KILLS ME!!!

i haven't been in such a long time but whenever i go i feel like I'm going to drown in my own sweat. this is a class that goes for 90 minutes,  there's about 26 poses that you do twice, and i go through so much water during it. its crazy shit but its so good for you. there are old men in each class who go like 6 times a week and i wish i could keep up with them. they're so good at it and they look so healthy; they'll probably live to be about 120 years old. here's what a class looks like.

so at this point i pretty much think i should go more often. it would make me so much more fit and id look all sexy and what not.

school starts in two days!! I'm so excited, i cant wait!! this year will be a success, i can feel it

such an amazing band

for real, i dont think I've ever heard a band that can capture the exact mood i'm in and play it back to me like these guys can. i love their voices, i love their style of music, i love their song meanings, and this is one of their songs that i like the most: Beauty in the Breakdown

Come on, take a step towards me
So you can figure me out
I've been hoping and praying for a single way
To show you what I'm all about
And I know, and I know this is the only way of pleasing the crowds
But when this is over and done with and we walk away
There should be no doubts

So let's get a little closer now
Let's get a little closer now

You say, you say that we're all tied up
And wrapped around in useless, states of mind
But at the same time we're still young
We have the time to realize that we were wrong

Come on love run with me
Get the hell out of this town
So we can get a better feel for each other
I'll take you, back to, when you
Remembered how you used to
Just live your life a little for me
Take the time to let it go
Step away and watch me grow

So let's get a little closer now
Let's get a little closer now

You say, you say that we're all tied up
And wrapped around in useless, states of mind
But at the same time we're still young
We have the time to realize that we were wrong

You can stay if you want to
And I write to you and tell you how you've always been so special to me
You can stay if you want to, and I’ll try
You can stay if you want to
And I write to you and tell you how you've always been so special to me
You can stay if you want to, and I’ll try

To keep you close to me (x3)

You say, you say that we're all tied up
And wrapped around in useless, states of mind
But at the same time we're still young
We have the time to realize that we were wrong

its just so captivating, what else can i say?

August 21st, 2011

Feeling kind of apathetic lately, there's not much time left in the summer and i have a lot of things that i want to do. there are people i haven't hung out with that i said i would, and there are just a lot of places that I've been meaning to get to that i haven't gotten to go to yet. i'm trying to get in as many hours at work as i can before summer's over because i know this is just a summer job i have. however, i have been looking for a more permanent job to take its place this year. 

I get into these moods that come and go, but they've been staying longer recently. like i just get feeling really bad about myself and the way i look. i know that i shouldn't feel this way because i look better than i have ever looked but i cant help but feel like a piece of shit. i'm so scared that in going to gain all this weight and be ugly again and i dont want it to happen. people are so judgmental (not that i'm any better) but it freaks me out and i feel like i always need to look perfect. its an unrealistic expectation of myself and i know that, but its the way that i feel. 

so someone please tell me how do i get out of this funk, i dont want to be that person who carries around the rain cloud with them wherever they go. that's not who i am, that's not who i have been, and that's not who i want to be.

So here's to another banner year,
We've crossed that thin line,
Don't try to hold us here,
If for just this once you'd think of us,
I hope you're happy with yourself,

-Jeremy McKinnon (A Day To Remember)

August 19th, 2011

school starts in a few weeks for me and i'm excited because ill be able to do the thing i love again which is coloring/cutting/styling hair.

maybe this year will hold something great in store for me. maybe ill find another thing i love doing. maybe ill find a few new favorite bands. maybe ill see some awesome shows and meet some awesome new friends.

something id love to start doing is photography, but i haven't had the drive so far to start. 

I've done little projects here and there but nothing recognizable which is an achievement i'd like to say I've done. this year i will do something great

August 8th, 2011: missing you so much

....and the only one who could take this loneliness away is so far away

its two things: SAD- because hes not here with me right now to make everything perfect like he does

and WORTHWHILE- because i know that i'm not wasting my time loving someone who's not here that doesn't love me back

they say friends can make times like this better, but my experience has shown that its only temporary and i need permanence. i need closure and security as well as affection and touch.

August 4th, 2011

ladies and gentlemen, we are in the midst of an owl epidemic!

they can be really fucking creepy though!